Hot topic? Yep, let’s talk about it.
Now that you’ve gotten to know my dating life a little better, I can now give you advice through my personal experiences.
Denial wasn’t something I dealt with after leaving Marc, it was while dating him that I was in denial (lol). I can laugh about it now, but lord knows I was blind. I didn’t want to believe that he was cheating and playing me. I wanted to believe that he would change because I was a loving, supportive and a loyal girlfriend. Boy was I wrong. The signs were always there. For instance, Marc would pick fights with me, just to disappear and not have to talk to me for the rest of the day or even for the rest of the week. I NEVER wanted to believe that he was up to no good. Another example of denial that I experienced was him locking and turning over his phone so that I couldn’t see who was texting or calling. If this is happening to you… I’m more than certain your partner is doing something they shouldn’t be doing. The phone was ALWAYS an issue… I learned that Marc was saving these “chicks” names under “dude” names- slick Rick lookin ass lol. Like I said… I can laugh about it now, but at that time, it was not only hurtful, but embarrassing.
Remember when Facebook was first introduced? Well, I had one until I was manipulated into deleting my account. Apparently, we were NOT going to do social media at all. Looking back at it, this was a serious form of manipulation. This man never deleted his account, he only deactivated it when I was around. Now, when Instagram came out, I expressed how I was thinking about getting one and that turned into a HUGE fight. According to him, I was trying to be seen and be a HOE out here. Thanks to my best friend, I found out he had an account, so I FINALLY opened one AND ohhhhh boy did that start DRAMA- yet, here he was hiding and lying. This dude had over 1500 followers and majority were WOMEN. He wanted to control me, have my passwords and of course, he had me place my account on private. In Marc’s eyes, every time a guy commented under my pictures, it meant I must have screwed him. I would delete comments just to avoid fights, but there he was, receiving heart eye emojis and kisses.
Let’s get into the topic of posting your significant other on social media. Marc made ONE post of me…. and I mean ONE picture of me in the 9 plus years of us dating. Yet, he would get upset if I didn’t post him on a regular. His argument was that I was trying to hide him and I didn’t want these “dudes” knowing I was in a relationship. I’d post him, but then there he was… being a snake; so, being young, I’d delete his pictures when I got mad. So that ONE picture he posted of me, eventually got deleted. lol. This topic, in my opinion, I feel is 50/50. If I am dating someone and I really care about this person and love this person, I will post him. I understand that some people won’t post their significant other because they don’t want people in “their” business AND I’m all for that in the beginning of your relationship. Eventually, I believe, naturally, you will want to show your BAE off. Remember, there are men and women in this world that DO NOT give a damn if you are taken or not and will approach you. So, hiding the fact that you are with someone (long term) won’t make a difference.
Piece of advice
Learn from my mistake/mistakes. I share this with you in transparency. We all have had that naive/gullible moment, some longer than others. The signs are there! It is up to you to open your eyes and know your worth. For those who haven’t dealt with manipulation, a habitual liar and/or a controlling person, don’t judge your friend in need. You never know someones story until they are ready to be TRANSPARENT with you. Open your heart and ears… LISTEN without judgement.