Chapter 12- Flashback

Let’s talk….

Have you ever listened to a song that reminded you of your ex? The song you took a break from listening to because it made you cringe? Well, I’m over that stage. BUT… the stage I was NOT expecting ,was…. the “running into him” in public ‘”stage”. Living in Houston is so small and big at the same damn time and I KNOW you understand what I’m talking about.

GALentine’s Day with one of my faves….

So, I have this “thing” about holiday’s. I am NOT spending it with just anyone. If I’m in the middle of getting to know someone, I’ll let them know that I only do gift exchanges with the person I’m exclusive with. Now that I made that clear, it’s time I tell you what happened… My friend and I planned our evening going to a bar after we exchanged gifts. Once we made it, we searched for a place to sit…AND then, that’s when my heart dropped. I look over to see MARC out on the patio; my initial reaction was to leave. Let me explain the feeling- it wasn’t the I missed him feeling, or that I still cared for him; it was the feeling of remembering the agony he brought me. My lovely GALfriend supported me when I said “chocha, we have to leave.” In that very moment, as I walked towards the exit door, I snapped out of it. It’s been nearly 3 years since that ship sailed. I shook it off and I did something even better! Wait for it…

Let’s take a second to recap on MARC’s personality. He was a manipulator, very controlling, and a GREAT liar. As MARC sat in the same lounge chair, where we would sit at , facing the sliding door. I noticed that he was with another chick who wasn’t the girlfriend (oops, yes I said it). I made sure my entrance was on “point.” Matter of fact, I made sure he saw me CLEARLY. I sat adjacent from him so he would get nervous. Petty much, right? I know, but ya’ll have to understand… I came so far from the pain, I had to let him see that I am the shit (lol). MARC looked like he was about to shit on himself. I’m not sure if it was because he saw me or the fact that he was up to no good and got caught.

I used to think that if I caught someone out with another “female” that it was my place to tell the girlfriend what I saw. Girl code right? Naw, been there, done that. I had friends, family, coworkers and other women reaching out to me about Marc playing the field and I still stayed with him and made excuses for his snake ways. So, when my friend asked me if I was going to mention this to his girlfriend (the chick he cheated on me with), I was like NOPE, not my problem anymore. Being in MARC’s presence while wearing what he would have not approved of or even walking with so much confidence was all I needed. EYES were on me and I loved it! Happy Valentine’s Day lol

Sweet and Short…

I say all this to say… don’t allow someone to still have a hold on you. Walk with your head high and smile; you deserve to. Enjoy the process of being single and learn to love yourself; I promise, being single is NOT a disease. You are important, a precious jewel, and a strong, courageous individual. If you run into someone you have history with, remind yourself of your importance and hell… i can’t stress this enough…walk with confidence, even if you aren’t. Fake it til you make it! Don’t hide from him/her or feel you are NOT strong enough to be in their presence. Remember, that chapter is OVER. His/Her loss, not yours. Ohhh, and one more thing… remember…

You are beautiful inside and out.

-Kim

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